A Newlywed's Take On Marriage

{leaving as man and wife}

I can’t believe I’m almost on my third week of marriage. I have random moments of shock where I have to peek into the living room to make sure my husband is still there, and that this wasn’t all a dream. 

As many of you well know, marriage has been something I’ve been looking forward to since I was like four years old. (you think I’m kidding) Being a helper and loving someone who was your soulmate has always melted my hopelessly romantic heart. As I’ve grown older and learned more about marriage, I realized that there is a lot more to it than romance and warm fuzzies. But you can only be so prepared without experiencing it.

So with my VAST experience of married life...a whoppin’ 17 days...I thought I’d share some of the thoughts I’ve been having since saying “I do” while they are fresh on my mind.

I can now echo with countless other married couples that marriage is one of the best and one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It used to annoy me when married people would give me that advice. “It’s the best thing in the world, and yet the most difficult.” How does that even make sense? It seemed oxymoronish to me. Now I understand.

It’s the best thing because I can look into the eyes of the man who loves me more than anyone else and feel safe. He promised me forever and I believe him. I fall asleep in his arms and wake up to his smile. I laugh with him constantly because we both have the same ridiculous sense of humor. He can read my face like a book and tell when I’m hurting, or sad, or mad. And he doesn’t stop asking “What’s wrong?” until I finally cave and expose my heart to him. He shows me daily that he cares for me.

It’s the hardest thing, not because Chris disappoints me or somehow doesn’t meet my needs. It’s hard because of ME. In these few short days of marriage I have seen more of Courtney’s flesh than I ever wanted to. Something about being one makes my flesh want to do everything in it’s power to separate us. I want to nag. I want to criticize. I want what I want. Chris is the recipient of my grumpiness, my moodiness, and my discontentment. Poor guy gets it ALL. While other’s see my smile and “sweet disposition,” Chris gets the death glare and heavy sigh from me. Chris truly sees all of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Already marriage has become a refining fire in my life. I can’t keep secrets or fake niceness in my marriage, it’s all the real deal. And that is both a good and terrifying thing. The Lord is making me more like His Son, Jesus, yet is killing my flesh quickly and consistently. I am thankful, yet broken.

It is so hard, yet so beautiful. I love my husband. And I love being married. And I’m excited about seeing where the Lord takes us as man and wife. My prayer is that as each day passes, we become more like Christ and bring Him more glory than the day before.

“O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.”

Psalm 34:3

The Best Ammunition

“I want to have A LOT of kids.”

I’ve come to realize that this simple statement can act as a pretty reliable repellant. Use it, and you are sure to see faces of surprise, horror and maybe even disgust. Say it in the presence of most guys, and you can watch them make a run for the door. It’s quite entertaining.

Entertaining, perhaps. Disheartening, VERY. 

If I was being completely honest, it is very discouraging for me to the lack of interest most young Christians possess in having a family.

I was raised by amazing parents, who loved me. I mean LOVED me. They gave so sacrificially to give me a wonderful childhood...I’m pretty sure I had the best one ever! :) But more importantly, they instilled in me a love for Christ and for family. They never failed to show me and my sisters that we were blessings to their lives. That they were so thankful the Lord gave us to them. And they raised us with that same heart.

Children are a blessing.

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward.” 

Psalm 127:3

From about the time that I was four years old, all I wanted to do was get married to a godly man, and have many beautiful babies. Children that we, together, would show the same kind of love my parents did. It would be our delight to train them up to love the Lord, and when we were gone, they would carry on that legacy. 

“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Psalm 127:4-5

There was a purpose in having children. Not to land our own TV show, or make people stare in wonder when we go to Wal-Mart, but there was an eternal one. One where you left this world filled with more Jesus-lovers than when you came into it. We can’t live forever, thus you leave behind your quiver full of warriors for Christ.

Now, I have to be honest. I thought this mindset was common among Christians. It was only after seeing the numerous “reactions” described above, that I realized I was pretty odd. 

What discourages me the most is the reaction young Christian guys have to this. Not because I want to pick on guys, but because...I can’t really start a family without one. ;) I know many amazing Christian guys, who are doing wonderful things for the Kingdom. But they are doing it alone. A wife and kids would only slow that down. They are busy doing the stuff that really matters.

I politely beg to differ.

Investing in the lives of the “future torch carriers” is not a waste of time. Nor is it less important than other Kingdom work. All you have to do is read about all of the kings of Israel and Judah, to see how devastating this lack of interest in raising up godly children can be to the furtherance of Christ. King Hezekiah did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight. He removed the high places, and cut down the idols in the land.

“For he (Hezekiah) clung to the Lord; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the Lord had commanded Moses.”

2 Kings 18:6

He was such a godly man. And through him, the Lord delivered Judah from Assyria. Hezekiah left a mark on Judah, and changed it for the better. But who took the throne once he was gone?

His son, Manasseh.

Now if you know anything about Bible history, you recognize this name. Manasseh was indisputably the worst king Judah had ever had. His wickedness far outmeasured any kings before him. He built back all of the high places that his father had torn down, he practiced witchcraft and divination, he set up the carved image of Asherah in the house of the Lord, and he even offered his son as a human sacrifice to the gods. (2 Kings 21)

“...and Manasseh seduced them to do more evil than the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the sons of Israel.” 

2 Kings 21:9

Manasseh was even worse than the pagan nations that surrounded Israel! Whenever I read this, I marvel at the fact that he was Hezekiah’s son. How could such a godly man have such a wicked son? How was there such a disconnect between the two?

Scripture doesn’t give us a clear answer, but it’s safe to assume that Hezekiah had not made the next generation a priority. He had not taken into consideration the fact that he was just a vapor on this earth, and that someone else would have to continue the work he was doing for the Lord. And because he failed to mentor his son in this same love of the Lord, all the progress and changes he had made in Judah was destroyed by his own son.

Guys, if you’re reading this, don’t make the same mistake Hezekiah did. Yes, continue seeking the Lord and serving Him in the place He has you. Be that light in the darkness and preach the Word. But don’t overlook the fact that the Lord uses the family as a weapon for His Kingdom as well. In a battle you want arrows, and the Lord says children are those arrows. So arm yourself well.

And ladies, if you don’t have a heart for family or children, ask the Lord to change it if it’s His will for you. Yes, I know not all of us are called to marriage and family. He gifts some of us for singleness. But the majority of us will marry someday, and all I encourage you to do is get in the Word and see for yourself what God says about family. Let Him show you what is right, and don’t let our culture control what your perception of or desire for children.

As for me, this is one of those character qualities in a man that I am not willing to compromise on. My two non-negotiables are: he’s got to love Jesus with all of his heart & be about making disciples, and love children and see their worth and purpose in the work we’re doing here on earth for Christ. These are two qualities that are so very rare. But I’m willing to wait as long as I have to, because of the truths that I’ve seen from His Word. 

My battle plan is simple: repopulate the earth with little Jesus-followers. :)

The Little Rebel Inside

*Warning* 

This post reveals the often sinful heart condition of the 

author. For those who wish to hold to the illusion that I 

am perfect and have it all together do not need 

to read any further. :)

The Lord broke through my rebellious heart tonight.

Have you ever experienced a time when you see, without any filtering, your sinfulness? In all its ugliness. In all its filth. You just see it for what it is.

Tonight was one of those nights for me.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a very stubborn person. I mean very. Blame it on heredity, blame it on my personality, either way the truth is: I am stubborn. And this is not a good thing.

Lately though, my stubbornness has been rearing its ugly head in the area of submitting to/obeying my parents.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have the most amazing parents. They love the Lord, and are such great examples in my life. They have sacrificed so much for me, given me more than I could ever deserve, and have taught me to follow the Lord. Without them I know I would not know the Lord the way that I do.

Why in the world would it be hard to honor and obey such terrific parents?

I’m stubborn remember??? And on top of that, I think I’m right the majority of the time. I’ve got it figured out, and I don’t need someone to tell me what to do.

I’ve been letting the wisdom of the world, and the tendencies of my wicked heart to dominate the way I view my parents. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it.

After all, no one else my age has to live under the same rules I do!

Even as I type these words, I feel such shame that these were the thoughts of my heart. They seem so blatantly rebellious when written down...yet I somehow managed to justify them when they are whispered in my heart. 

But thankfully, the Lord was not fooled. He brought me to my knees, broken and grieved over my sin. He revealed just how wicked and rebellious my heart had been, and brought me to a place of repentance and surrender. 

He reminded me of His commands for me as a child of my parents:

“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

Honor your father and mother (which is the first 

commandment with a promise), so that it will be well with 

you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this 

is well-pleasing to the Lord.” 

Colossians 3:20

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake

your mother’s teaching;”

Proverbs 1:8

These verses are so cut and dry. They are to the point and there’s no arguing with the command here. Obey. Honor. Heed Instruction.

I am called, no matter what my age, to obey and honor my parents. Yes, this is a strange concept in our culture. At age 18 we are considered to be “adults” and on our own. We have the freedom to make our own decisions, do what we want, and answer only to ourselves. And this mindset of the world can so easily become my mindset.

But is that God’s way?

Not for my life it isn’t. The Lord has placed me under my parents’ care and authority in this moment. It can be such a blessing...that is, when my heart is right. :)

I have so much to be thankful for. I love my parents. And they love me unconditionally and consistently. They want what is best for me, even if it’s not what I want to hear. They have prayed for me since I was conceived, and have devoted their lives to pouring into me and showing me how to live for Jesus. I am so thankful for them.

My prayer tonight is for the Lord to give me a heart change. To give me a submissive and meek heart towards my parents. That I would joyfully submit to their authority and serve them from my heart. 

I want more than anything to be pleasing to the Lord in every area of my life. It's easy to be a saint when you're leading a Bible study, are at church or with your godly friends. But when I come home and no one else is looking, I want to still be found faithful. I want to honor those who know me best, who see me at my worst and yet still love me. I want to be faithful where it truly counts...because even if no one else sees the way I treat my parents, the Lord does. And He should be all I am striving to please. 

“...a wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish 

son is a grief to his mother.”

Proverbs 10:1

I want to bring gladness to my father and mother, and not grief.

The Selfish Romantic...

I am a hopeless romantic. I try to hide it, but it nevertheless always manages to come out somehow. I want to be pursued by a man, for him to want me and no one else, and for him to make an effort to win my heart. 

As far back as I can remember I have pictured the scenario, straight out of a Hallmark movie, where he brings me flowers, takes me somewhere special and listens to my every word. He laughs at my jokes, holds me when I cry, loves me even when I’m mean, and stands by me no matter what. And even when I’m gray-haired and covered in wrinkles, that he will still say I take his breath away.

Siigghhh.

Did you notice anything about what I’ve just described? Did you see the pattern here? It’s all about me. Never once did I mention anything that is important. Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? To be adored and spoiled rotten. But not only is that not reality, it’s not at all what my life is to be about as a Christian. 

Since when has it become about me?

When I believed in Jesus Christ and began this walk in Him, I said goodbye to my wants and my desires.

“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified 

the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Galatians 5:24

“I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I 

who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now l

ive in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who 

loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Galatians 2:20

“Let no one seek his own good...”

1 Corinthians 10:24

However difficult it may be to hear, life is not about me. It’s about Christ and His glory. 

Why would I think romance would be any different? I think something doesn’t connect in my mind when I begin to think about relationships and marriage. I remember all of the Disney movies I grew up watching, where Prince Charming always came riding into the picture to save the girl. Or all of the “chick flicks” out there, where the girl always chooses the guy who gives her just what she wants, who meets all of her needs. This is a very incorrect view of what God intended relationships to be all about.

My needs are met through Christ, and Him alone. Why would I expect a man to play that role? Not only does it put an enormous amount of pressure on him, but I will always be dissatisfied. I could marry the most angelic, sweet, tender, and sensitive guy out there, but my true needs would still never be met. Yes, I may be happy at first, but eventually a desire that can only be fulfilled by my Creator will begin to nag at my heart, making me miserable, until I run to Him.

“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry 

soul He fills with good things.”

Psalm 107:9

“O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness, 

That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

Psalm 90:14

He alone can satisfy.

So, my sisters, I encourage you to take a good hard look at your view of romance and marriage. Are you looking to the future, thinking that one day all of your deepest longings will be met by a Prince Charming? That all of your problems will be solved with three things: tall, dark and handsome? 

Or are you being satisfied in Jesus now? The One who knows us better than anyone ever could, who made us and formed us, and is intimately acquainted with all our ways (Ps. 139:3). Jesus truly is all we could ever desire or hope for.

And yes, maybe one day in the future the Lord will bring that amazing man of God (or maybe He already has), who loves you as Christ loves the church. Together you can both serve the Lord better than you could apart. But it will be so much sweeter if you are already finding your satisfaction in the Lord, than expecting it to come from him.

I’m on this same journey with you. I struggle all the time with this wrong outlook. I so often take my eyes off of Jesus, and look instead off into the horizon waiting for the gallant prince to come riding up on his horse to rescue me. So if you struggle with this, you’re not alone. But let’s learn from this, repent, and fix our eyes on Jesus.

I mean after all, if anyone could pass as a Prince Charming, couldn’t He? ;)

The Victory of Two

 Tonight my sister and I watched the movie Amazing Grace. It portrays the story of William Wilberforce, a leader in the abolition of the slave trade in Britain. This movie always makes me want to cry, for it is a story of a man who was passionate about the Lord and passionate about justice. His life truly was one of perseverance and endurance. He remained faithful, and eventually accomplished the task God had given him: the abolition of the slave trade.

The life of this man inspires me. I want to be a William Wilberforce. I want to be faithful, and set about to proclaim freedom to those enslaved by sin. To cry out to people:

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy rains

Unending love, Amazing grace

But that is not the topic I want to cover in this post. As I watched this film about William, I was struck by the role his wife, Barbara Spooner, played in his life. Barbara came into William’s life at a time when his bill to abolish the slave trade had been rejected...again. He was physically sick, and emotionally stripped of his passion. He had given up.

They became friends, and soon learned that they shared many of the same political and moral views. She too was passionate about the abolition of slavery, but whenever she tried to converse with him about it, he would change the subject. It was too painful for him to talk about. It reminded him of what he thought was his failing to accomplish what God had called him to do.

On a walk one day, she cautiously brought it up again. As he began to talk and express his defeat and frustration, she listened patiently. This conversation soon turned into an all night recollection of all he had tried to accomplish. He told her of the years of evidence he and his colleagues had collected, that they were sure this time they would be victorious. But they had once again failed. 

Barbara, still listening, gets from the couch they are sitting on, and walks towards a curtained window. She opens it and seeing that it is now morning, she lets the light in. She looks at him and says:

“After the night comes day.”

It was through this encouragement William is then seen packing his bags, headed back to London to fight once more for the cause. 

Oh, and he married Barbara too. :)

What struck me the most through the example of Barbara Wilberforce, was the fact that she truly lived out her God-given role as a helpmate. 

In Genesis, we have the account of God creating the first woman.

“Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be 

alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Out of the 

ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and 

every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see 

what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living 

creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the 

cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, 

but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So 

the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, 

and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the 

flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the 

rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”

Genesis 2:18-22

The word helper is used twice in these verses. The Lord made woman for what purpose? To be a suitable helper for the man. Now, I know many women have a problem with this, but that is another blog post. I didn’t write the Bible, God did...so ask Him about it. ;)

After watching Amazing Grace, I was struck by a thought. Yes I want to make a difference in the world for the glory of the Lord, and yes I want to do big things for God. But I also have to realize that I may not always be the one on the front lines. I may not be the one to stand in parliament, displaying my bill for the abolition of slavery. I may not be President of the United States, or another Billy Graham. I may be called to the role of Barbara Wilberforce, encouraging the man who is standing in parliament, changing the world. One is not less than the other. If it hadn’t been for the encouragement and exhortation of Barbara, William would have given up. They were victorious together. 

I want to marry a William Wilberforce. I will not settle for a man who is passive towards his God-given role of making disciples and proclaiming the gospel. I would soon stay single before I settle. But I must also take a good hard look at my own life, and see if I am developing qualities that make me suitable to be the helper to someone who is passionately seeking God.

Am I living my life, and developing qualities that will equip me for this role? Do I live my life for what I want and expect others to serve me? Or do I follow the example of Jesus who:

“...did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give 

His life a ransom for many."

Matthew 20:28

So my exhortation to you, my sisters, is this: ask the Lord to search your heart. Take a good hard look at the way you are living your life, and see if you are willing to live the role of helper. If marriage is what the Lord calls you to, are you going to be able to stand behind your man, and help him in his role...whatever it may be? 

At the close of the film, when William’s bill is passed, and the slave trade has been abolished once and for all, Lord Charles Fox stands up and says these words: 

“When people speak of great men, they think of men like 

Napoleon - men of violence. Rarely do they think of 

peaceful men. But contrast the reception they will receive 

when they return home from their battles. Napoleon will 

arrive in pomp and in power, a man who's achieved the 

very summit of earthly ambition. And yet his dreams will be 

haunted by the oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, 

however, will return to his family, lay his head on his pillow 

and remember: the slave trade is no more.”

These words bring tears to my eyes. What an amazing thing the Lord did through the life of William Wilberforce. And through his wife, Barbara. :)

The Good Part

It was a typical day. I was doing house work, and vacuuming up a storm. It's amazing how therapeutic vacuuming can be. :)

My mind was busy thinking over my schedule for the day.

I need to finish vacuuming this room, then move on to cleaning the bedroom.

I need to go the gym today, so I don't become a heifer.

Have we fed the animals today?

                                                                       I need to make something for dinner.

                                                                       Oh, and I need to read my Bible.

Then I heard that little voice inside of me whispering, "Martha, Martha." As I continued to vacuum,  I mulled over those age old words that Jesus spoke to Martha in Luke. It hit me that just as Martha had been distracted and too busy to sit at the feet of Jesus, I was doing the same thing. "I'll get to my Bible reading after I finish cleaning this." It had been my excuse all morning. 

My heart was so convicted, that I stopped vacuuming right there (which for my perfectionist self was a BIG deal!!), and went upstairs in my room spend some time at the Lord's feet. This is what I read:

"Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; 

and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her 

home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at 

the Lord's feet, listening to His word. But Martha was 

distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to 

Him and said, “Lord do you not care that my sister has 

left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help 

me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, 

Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many 

things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has 

chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away 

from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

I came to see that I am just like Martha. We would have gotten along great...but we would have both chosen the wrong part.

Now Martha is not the “bad guy” in this story. Far from it! She was being hospitable by welcoming Jesus into her home. Which is what we are called to do.

“Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”

1 Peter 4:9

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by 

this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Hebrews 13:2

Martha was obeying the Word by welcoming people into her home. The problem comes in verse 40:

“But Martha was distracted with all her preparations...”

The word distracted in this verse means “to be over-occupied, too busy about a thing.” Man, that is a very accurate description of the way I live most of my life. I am just so busy. So occupied. So distracted. And, like Martha, I often come to the Lord...not to sit at His feet, but to complain.

“...Lord do you not care that my sister has 

left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell 

her to help me.”

Lord, my life is hard! Look at all that I am doing...and by myself too! Don’t you care? I can’t do this alone...make her help me!! 

Jesus’ response to her is so kind, yet cuts right to the quick.

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about 

so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for 

Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be 

taken away from her.”

He doesn’t condemn Martha. He simply names what she’s doing. She is bothered about so many things. Then He points to Mary, the object to which Martha directed her frustration. Mary has chosen the good part. What was this good part?

“...She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at 

the Lord's feet, listening to His word...”

Mary was at the feet of Jesus, listening to His word. She realized what was necessary. What was important. And this was not going to be taken away from her.

After reading these verses, tears filled my eyes. How had I let the cares of this world, and the distractions of life keep me from sitting at His feet? What else really matters? Yes, we have to work hard. Yes, there are things in life that we have to do. That’s not even the issue here. The real question is, are you and am I putting Him first? Are we choosing the good part. The part that is lasting and imperishable. Time spend with our Lord and in His Word.

Pray that I will live this out. That no matter how crazy life gets, I will still put Jesus first. That I will just sit at the feet of my Savior. 

That I will choose the good part.

He Knows Our Frame

“When Satan tempts me to despair, 

And tells me of the guilt within, 

Upward I look, and see him there

Who made an end of all my sin.”

~ Before the Throne ~

Grace. That little word holds such a profound and life changing meaning. I know I never fully comprehend what it means. It seems that just when I think I understand it, some circumstance in my life reveals just how little I know about the grace of God.

grace - to find favor in the eyes of someone, to be acceptable to him, unmerited favor

When I believed in Christ as the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit came and dwelt inside of me, I changed. The Lord brought me from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light (Col. 1:13). My entire identity changed because of Him, in that He made me His child and co-heir with Christ.

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, 

that we would be called children of God; and such we 

are. For this reason the world does not know us, 

because it did not know Him.”

1 John 3:1

“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are 

children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God 

and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him 

so that we may also be glorified with Him.”

Romans 8:16-17

That being said, there is one thing that didn’t change. And that is my flesh. I sometimes forget that a battle rages inside of me daily. The battle between the Spirit of God living inside of me and the flesh that destroys me.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out 

the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire 

against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for 

these are in opposition to one another, so that you may 

not do the things that you please.”

Galatians 5:16-17

And when I forget or lose sight of this battle, I am caught off guard by my sin. When I fail to walk by the Spirit and the flesh wins, I am left discouraged and dispirited. I want to hide from the very One who has the power to deliver me from the sins I have committed, too ashamed to face Him. “He must be so disappointed in me.” 

But is this true?

“Just as a father has compassion on his children, so 

the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. 

For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that 

we are but dust.”

Psalm 103:14-15

As our Father, He is compassionate towards us, and remembers the fact that we are but dust. He is not surprised by our weaknesses, or by our failures. Does He condone them? Certainly not. But is He disappointed in us? No. He is compassionate towards His children.

Christ Jesus, our Savior and the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world (John 1:29), is our High Priest. He is the One who makes propitiation for our sins (Heb. 2:17). And He understands.

“For since He Himself was tempted in that which He 

has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those 

who are tempted.”

Hebrews 2:18

“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize 

with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in 

all things as we are, yet without sin.”

Hebrews 4:15

Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses. He’s been there. The only difference is, He never caved or gave in. He was sinless. But He still understands. And He can come to our aid when we are tempted to give into our flesh. How precious is this? What hope! 

So my encouragement to you is this: when you fail, when you sin, don’t let that keep you from seeking the face of God. Don’t let Satan temp you to despair. When those feelings of utter unworthiness consume you, remember who you are in Christ. You and I ARE unworthy. We are nothing apart from Him. But as His children, we are forgiven. We must remember His grace.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, 

the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to 

the riches of His grace...”

Ephesians 1:7

Now, I am not condoning sin. You and I must repent and turn from our sins. We cannot continue in sin.

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so 

that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall 

we who died to sin still live in it?” 

Romans 6:1-2

“What then? Shall we sin because we are not under 

law but under grace? May it never be!”

Romans 6:15

The grace of God is indescribably beautiful. But it is not to be abused. We are still called to be obedient to His commands and precepts. We have died to sin, and must not live in it. Sin must not be a habitual thing in our lives as believers.

But when we do sin, we must confess it from a broken and sincere heart. True repentance will equal a turning away from those sins. And when we do this, God will forgive us.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous 

to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all 

unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken 

and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.”

Psalm 51:17

So take heart. The Lord is never surprised by our weaknesses, and He is compassionate towards those of us who are His children. He remembers we are but dust. And He forgives us when we repent and cry out to Him from a broken heart. 

So don’t become dispirited by the times you fail. When you lose the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. We may lose a battle here and there, but Christ Jesus has already won the war!

“Because a sinless Savior died, 

My sinful soul is counted free; 

For God, the Just, is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me”

~ Before the Throne ~

The Benefits of Losing

Losing your life. Being crucified with Christ. Dying to self.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear these phrases quoted from Scripture, I sometimes cringe at the thought. Something tells me that living these out is not going to be a very pleasant experience...

Is the Christian walk really that difficult? Can’t we all just be happy and always smiling...it seems to work for Joel Osteen! ;)

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that is not at all how the gospel that Jesus 

preached is described. 

“You will be hated by all because of My name...” 

Matthew 10:22

“I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are 

not of the world, even as I am not of the world.” 

John 17:14

Following Christ is not for the faint of heart. It is not always easy. Now, I am not trying to be all gloom and doom here, but this side of the gospel is so often overlooked. Why? Because it makes people uncomfortable. It’s not “happy.” It requires us take a good hard look at how we are living.

It gets back to that losing your life thing.

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for 

My sake and the gospel’s will save it.” 

Mark 8:35

Now, you may be more spiritual than I am, but when someone wants a show of hands of people who want to lose their life, I’m gonna keep my hands down as low as I can. But now that I am a child of God and a bondservant of Christ, this changes things. Or should.

“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with 

its passions and desires.”

Galatians 5:24

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives 

in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, 

who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Galatians 2:20

It’s no longer about me. I died with Christ. The life I am now living is not my own but is through faith in Christ. 

This is a sacrifice, yes. But when you compare it with the last part of Galatians 2:20, it seems so small in comparison. Christ Jesus, the Son of God, gave Himself up for me. Why? He loved me. He forgave the debt of my sins that I could not pay, and granted me not only complete pardon, but also eternal life.

“My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!”

Why in the world would I ever find giving my life for Him in return a difficult decision? When I see my life in light of who Christ Jesus is, and in light of the sacrifice He made for me, my life is of nothing to me. Take it all, Jesus!

Yet, this is still a daily struggle for me. Of dying to my flesh. I have to fall before Him more frequently than I’m proud of, and beg Him to change me. To make me willing to die to my flesh and desires. I had to do it tonight.

But He always helps me and hears my prayers.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

He gave me mercy tonight. And made me willing to lose my life again, and caused this to be my heart’s prayer:

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

John 3:30