The Little Rebel Inside

*Warning* 

This post reveals the often sinful heart condition of the 

author. For those who wish to hold to the illusion that I 

am perfect and have it all together do not need 

to read any further. :)

The Lord broke through my rebellious heart tonight.

Have you ever experienced a time when you see, without any filtering, your sinfulness? In all its ugliness. In all its filth. You just see it for what it is.

Tonight was one of those nights for me.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a very stubborn person. I mean very. Blame it on heredity, blame it on my personality, either way the truth is: I am stubborn. And this is not a good thing.

Lately though, my stubbornness has been rearing its ugly head in the area of submitting to/obeying my parents.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have the most amazing parents. They love the Lord, and are such great examples in my life. They have sacrificed so much for me, given me more than I could ever deserve, and have taught me to follow the Lord. Without them I know I would not know the Lord the way that I do.

Why in the world would it be hard to honor and obey such terrific parents?

I’m stubborn remember??? And on top of that, I think I’m right the majority of the time. I’ve got it figured out, and I don’t need someone to tell me what to do.

I’ve been letting the wisdom of the world, and the tendencies of my wicked heart to dominate the way I view my parents. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it.

After all, no one else my age has to live under the same rules I do!

Even as I type these words, I feel such shame that these were the thoughts of my heart. They seem so blatantly rebellious when written down...yet I somehow managed to justify them when they are whispered in my heart. 

But thankfully, the Lord was not fooled. He brought me to my knees, broken and grieved over my sin. He revealed just how wicked and rebellious my heart had been, and brought me to a place of repentance and surrender. 

He reminded me of His commands for me as a child of my parents:

“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

Honor your father and mother (which is the first 

commandment with a promise), so that it will be well with 

you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this 

is well-pleasing to the Lord.” 

Colossians 3:20

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake

your mother’s teaching;”

Proverbs 1:8

These verses are so cut and dry. They are to the point and there’s no arguing with the command here. Obey. Honor. Heed Instruction.

I am called, no matter what my age, to obey and honor my parents. Yes, this is a strange concept in our culture. At age 18 we are considered to be “adults” and on our own. We have the freedom to make our own decisions, do what we want, and answer only to ourselves. And this mindset of the world can so easily become my mindset.

But is that God’s way?

Not for my life it isn’t. The Lord has placed me under my parents’ care and authority in this moment. It can be such a blessing...that is, when my heart is right. :)

I have so much to be thankful for. I love my parents. And they love me unconditionally and consistently. They want what is best for me, even if it’s not what I want to hear. They have prayed for me since I was conceived, and have devoted their lives to pouring into me and showing me how to live for Jesus. I am so thankful for them.

My prayer tonight is for the Lord to give me a heart change. To give me a submissive and meek heart towards my parents. That I would joyfully submit to their authority and serve them from my heart. 

I want more than anything to be pleasing to the Lord in every area of my life. It's easy to be a saint when you're leading a Bible study, are at church or with your godly friends. But when I come home and no one else is looking, I want to still be found faithful. I want to honor those who know me best, who see me at my worst and yet still love me. I want to be faithful where it truly counts...because even if no one else sees the way I treat my parents, the Lord does. And He should be all I am striving to please. 

“...a wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish 

son is a grief to his mother.”

Proverbs 10:1

I want to bring gladness to my father and mother, and not grief.