I am a hopeless romantic. I try to hide it, but it nevertheless always manages to come out somehow. I want to be pursued by a man, for him to want me and no one else, and for him to make an effort to win my heart.
As far back as I can remember I have pictured the scenario, straight out of a Hallmark movie, where he brings me flowers, takes me somewhere special and listens to my every word. He laughs at my jokes, holds me when I cry, loves me even when I’m mean, and stands by me no matter what. And even when I’m gray-haired and covered in wrinkles, that he will still say I take his breath away.
Siigghhh.
Did you notice anything about what I’ve just described? Did you see the pattern here? It’s all about me. Never once did I mention anything that is important. Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? To be adored and spoiled rotten. But not only is that not reality, it’s not at all what my life is to be about as a Christian.
Since when has it become about me?
When I believed in Jesus Christ and began this walk in Him, I said goodbye to my wants and my desires.
“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified
the flesh with its passions and desires.”
Galatians 5:24
“I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I
who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now l
ive in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who
loved me and gave Himself up for me.”
Galatians 2:20
“Let no one seek his own good...”
1 Corinthians 10:24
However difficult it may be to hear, life is not about me. It’s about Christ and His glory.
Why would I think romance would be any different? I think something doesn’t connect in my mind when I begin to think about relationships and marriage. I remember all of the Disney movies I grew up watching, where Prince Charming always came riding into the picture to save the girl. Or all of the “chick flicks” out there, where the girl always chooses the guy who gives her just what she wants, who meets all of her needs. This is a very incorrect view of what God intended relationships to be all about.
My needs are met through Christ, and Him alone. Why would I expect a man to play that role? Not only does it put an enormous amount of pressure on him, but I will always be dissatisfied. I could marry the most angelic, sweet, tender, and sensitive guy out there, but my true needs would still never be met. Yes, I may be happy at first, but eventually a desire that can only be fulfilled by my Creator will begin to nag at my heart, making me miserable, until I run to Him.
“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry
soul He fills with good things.”
Psalm 107:9
“O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness,
That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”
Psalm 90:14
He alone can satisfy.
So, my sisters, I encourage you to take a good hard look at your view of romance and marriage. Are you looking to the future, thinking that one day all of your deepest longings will be met by a Prince Charming? That all of your problems will be solved with three things: tall, dark and handsome?
Or are you being satisfied in Jesus now? The One who knows us better than anyone ever could, who made us and formed us, and is intimately acquainted with all our ways (Ps. 139:3). Jesus truly is all we could ever desire or hope for.
And yes, maybe one day in the future the Lord will bring that amazing man of God (or maybe He already has), who loves you as Christ loves the church. Together you can both serve the Lord better than you could apart. But it will be so much sweeter if you are already finding your satisfaction in the Lord, than expecting it to come from him.
I’m on this same journey with you. I struggle all the time with this wrong outlook. I so often take my eyes off of Jesus, and look instead off into the horizon waiting for the gallant prince to come riding up on his horse to rescue me. So if you struggle with this, you’re not alone. But let’s learn from this, repent, and fix our eyes on Jesus.
I mean after all, if anyone could pass as a Prince Charming, couldn’t He? ;)
Amen dear sister! Sadly this is such an abnormal, un-taught truth. But He IS the only one who can completely fill our hearts desires and needs. And we are to live for His glory in EVERY area of our life. I too struggle, so often as I let my own desires and selfish ways come in. But praise the Lord for refining me in His fire and revealing to me His love which leaves me speechless. He is the best "tall, dark and handsome" ever.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, You have such a beautiful way with words that come from your heart. And I am abundantly blessed and challenged by you.