You One Strange Woman!

A dear friend and I have been doing a recent study on brother/sister relationships in the body of Christ. Our heart’s desire is to edify our brothers in Christ and never act as a stumbling block to them, and are searching through the Bible for examples of what and what not to do.

In the midst of this study, I stumbled (well not literally...I didn’t trip on the book of Proverbs...) across the examples of the strange woman, or prostitute, in Proverbs. As early as chapter 2, the warnings to young men begin. These warnings are severe and frequent.

None who go to her return again, nor do they reach the paths of life.” (Proverbs 2:19)

“Suddenly he follows her....he does not know that it will cost him his life.” 

(Proverbs 7:22-23)

Maybe it’s just me...but this ain’t good! And this is NOT what I desire for my brothers in Christ. And as a woman myself, I really want to take a good hard look at my own life and make sure that nothing in my character is similar to hers.

So I made a list of the adjectives and descriptions used to describe this woman, in order  to know what not to do. 

The first trend I noticed in her description had to do with her mouth:

-she flatters with her words (Proverbs 2:16)

-her lips drip honey, smoother than oil is her speech (Proverbs 5:3)

-smooth tongue (Proverbs 6:24)

-with her flattering lips she seduces him (Proverbs 7:21)

This tells me that as women, we have to be very careful in the speech we use towards our brothers in Christ. There is a fine line between encouragement and flattery. Of course we should be speaking words of edification and encouragement to every member of the body of Christ, but with guys in particular we have to be very careful. “You’re so big and stroooong.” might be on the verge of “flattering with her words.” ha

Next were physical attributes:

-do not desire her beauty in your heart (Proverbs 6:25)

-she captures with her eye lids (Proverbs 6:25)

-dressed as a harlot (Proverbs 7:10)

From these verses, we can draw the conclusion that she is a beautiful woman. Now, this does not mean that if you are beautiful, you are automatically a harlot. God wants us all to be ugly! (totally kidding) But from the other verses, we can see that it is not simply the fact that she is beautiful that entices men. It says she is dressed as a harlot. Annnnd last time I checked, modesty isn’t at the top of a harlot’s list. So we can conclude that she dresses very immodestly.

“She captures with her eye lids.” I am not really sure what this means, but the ESV uses the word “eyelashes” in place of “eye lids.” And that seems to make more sense to me...but regardless, she uses her eyes to capture men. And this is not good. So batting our eyelashes, making cow eyes, and turning our eyes slowly and dramatically upwards to make eye contact are habits we need to break and rid ourselves of.

And a few more traits are:

-cunning of heart (Proverbs 7:10)

-boisterous and rebellious (Proverbs 7:11)

-her feet do not remain at home (Provers 7:11)

The words cunning means:

“having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit or evasion.” 

So basically, she has a deceitful and manipulative heart. She achieves what she wants through lies and hidden motives.

In 1 Peter 3:4 we are commanded to have a “gentle and quiet spirit.” And the woman in Proverbs is described as boisterous and rebellious. This is just the opposite of quiet and gentle...

So her temperament is at odds with what the Lord desires us to be.

And the last point is a very interesting one. It says “her feet do not remain at home.” Isn’t that neat? What does this tell you? 

“...to be sensible, pure, workers at home...” (Titus 2:5)

“...I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house...” (1 Timothy 5:14)

God has called women to be keepers at home. Yet the strange woman’s feet do not remain at home...

Are you seeing a trend here?

The strange woman is the opposite of a woman of God. Knowing the above gives me a list of guidelines, both good and bad, to judge myself by. If I see any of these tendencies in my heart and life, I need to humble myself and ask the Lord to change my heart. 

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

I want to be a woman after the heart of God. I want to be an encouragement to my brothers in Christ. And I never want to entice them or cause them to stumble. 

This is my hearts prayer. 

Where's Your Hope?

If you are anything like me, disappointment is something you absolutely dread. I mean, I lower my expectations to keep from being disappointed. It doesn't ever work, but I do it anyway. Go figure.

This is not a positive thing. I mean, having a "glass half-empty" view on life to avoid disappointment is not something I'm proud of. And I don't think it is something the Lord desires for me. 

"To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed." (Psalm 22:5)

This verse promises that if my trust and "expectation" is in the Lord, I will NOT be disappointed. What a precious promise! I cling to this verse in my times of doubt and fear. The Lord promises over and over in His Word that if my hope is in Him, I will never be disappointed.

"Those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame." (Isaiah 49:23)

"For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed."' (Romans 10:11)

These verses do not imply, however, that we will never have disappointment in life. Life will let us down. When that job falls through. The death of a loved one. Rejection from someone you love. Whatever it may be, life is going to hurt. 

When this disappointment comes, where are you going to place your trust?

Will you move on to another silver lining, in hopes that this time it will work out better than last time? 

"This is going to be THE interview."

"She's going to recover."

"This time he's going to love me." 

Or will you cling to something, or Someone, who will not let you down? When the hard things in life begin to hit you, what will you turn to?

"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?

Hope in God,

for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence." (Psalm 42:5)

I encourage you today to hope in God. Place your trust and hope in Christ. You've got God's promise that you will not be disappointed. That's what I'm going to do. Or at least strive for. It isn't easy...I mean, it's a daily struggle for me. But it's worth it. :)

So I leave you with this:

"Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord." (Psalm 31:24)

Look To The Sky!

“But godliness with contentment is 

  great gain.” 

1 Timothy 6:6

Contentment. I hate that word. I know that sounds awful, but I’m being honest! When people tell me, “Honey, you just need to be content!” sometimes I just want to knock their chair out from under them! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating...maybe. ;)

What does the word contentment mean?

Contentment- a state of happiness and satisfaction.

So basically when I am content, then I am satisfied. I am not wanting more, desiring more, or wishing for more. I’m happy with what I have. 

What things in your life make it difficult to be content? Is it not having a boyfriend/husband, thinking that “if I only had my Prince Charming, my life would be a piece of cake!” Or is it wishing you had more money to spend on beautiful clothes that make you feel beautiful...and don’t forget cute accessories! Or perhaps even wishing your had different parents...because Shanaynay’s parents are way cooler and aren’t so strict! Whatever it is in your life that makes the journey towards contentment hard, know this: you aren’t alone. I’m right there with you.

What do I struggle with? Well, as any girl does, I want to be loved by a wonderful man...cherished for the prize that I am. (kidding!) But seriously, what girl doesn’t want a man to love her and appreciate her for who she is, to choose her out of all of the other girls in the world? And I see my calling or “career” from the Word as being a keeper at home, a wife and a mother. And I really really want to be wife and a mother. I am a hopeless romantic, who longs for the day I can fix my sugarbuns a delicious home cooked meal, and have all of my perfectly obedient and orderly children around the table. (So I have high expectations...don’t judge me!) But the reality is, it is not the Lord’s timing for that phase of my life yet. And the fact is, it may never be. God’s plans are not my own.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.” (Isaiah 55:8)

So what’s your point, Johnny Rain Cloud?

Well my point is, that all of us have desires that are not being met at the moment. It can range from hunger to marriage. It doesn’t matter. But what does matter is that the Lord calls us to be content and to shift our focus from earth to heaven.

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

Most of my discontentment problems come as a result of my focus. When I am thinking about what I want and what I desire, my focus in on me. Duh. (I’m a little slow okay?) But in Colossians it tells us to set our minds on the things above. Heavenly things. On the Lord. If we are renewing our minds and keeping them “set” on the Lord and on the things we are to be doing for His kingdom, the little things we want become so small...we may even lose sight of them altogether. I mean, if you think about it, when you’re looking up at the sky...you really can’t see anything else below it. It becomes the entirety of your vision.

But wait! Is it wrong to desire good things? Things like education, marriage or having a family? No. That is not wrong at all. God gives us desires. The problem is when we let those desires shift our focus off of the One who gave them to us in the first place.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

This is one of my favorite verses. One of my dear friends, Brooke, shared a perspective on this verse that I had never thought of. She said that when we are FIRST seeking the Lord and his kingdom, the other stuff will come. It will “be added to you.” And that just really stuck with me. 

Of course this is not saying that we will get everything we want if we seek the Lord! That’s just not the way it works. But the things that God has in store for us and the blessings He wants to reward us with will come as a result of our obedience. And when we are truly seeking Him first, we won’t really care either way. We will be in “a state of happiness and satisfaction.” :)

So I encourage you girls to continue to seek God passionately and strive for contentment. Get in the Word daily. Learn what God wants us to be doing. And just love Him. Really really love Him. I am on this journey with you, and I fall short and lose my focus daily. So know what you are not alone on this walk. :)

And if you need prayer or a listening ear, shoot me an email or facebook me! I love hearing from you!

What Is A Suitable Helper?

In my previous post, we talked about God’s purpose for women. We are to be helpers.

“Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

But what does that look like practically? 

Especially as young, unmarried woman, this role can be confusing to carry out. We don’t have a husband...so who do we serve? 

Let’s see some examples from the Word:

Examples early on in the Bible, such as Rebekah, show a pattern. She was a daughter, living in her father’s home. She was a helper to him and his household. When Abraham’s servant was sent to find a wife for Isaac, he sat at the city well. 

"Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water;” (Genesis 24:13)

Why was he there? Because the daughters of the men of the city came to water their father’s camels. The point being, it was common knowledge that daughters helped with tasks in their father’s homes.

Another example comes from the book of Nehemiah. The people of Israel were rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. The task of rebuilding the wall was colossal, and the only effective way to accomplish the task was for each family to begin working on the section of the wall that was in front of their homes. This is where our verse comes in:

“Next to him Shallum the son of Hallohesh, the official of half the district of Jerusalem, made repairs, he and his daughters.” (Nehemiah 3:12)

Shallum and his daughters were rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem! I have always loved this verse, because it showed that the range of things us girls can do is not limited to knitting. :)

And my third and final example comes from the story of Esther. Esther was a Jewish woman who’s parents had died and she had been taken in by Mordecai. He was a father to her. And she was a daughter to him. And as such, they fulfilled their roles.

“Esther had not yet made known her kindred or her people, even as Mordecai had commanded her; for Esther did what Mordecai told her as she had done when under his care.” (Esther 2:20)

Esther was an obedient daughter, and trusted in the wisdom of Mordecai. And she did what he told her to do.

So what does all this talk of camels, walls and wells have to do with anything? Well, everything actually. Try not to get caught up on the details of these verses, and try to see the whole picture. The picture is this: daughters who are unmarried, are to be helpers to their fathers. 

How? 

Well, this depends on your father, and your family situation. But ask your dad. What does he need help with? What tasks weigh heavily on his mind, that you could easily help him out with. Whether it be helping him with lawn work, taking out the trash, or helping your Mom, offer to help him. And follow through. 

Attitude has a lot to do with it as well. I will be the first to admit that I have had a bad attitude many a time. Especially when my dad wants me to pick up sticks in the yard. I don’t know why, but I HATE that job. But it is in those moments that I have a choice: I can choose to serve my father with a loving and obedient attitude, or I can sigh and complain, which in turn causes me to be more of a burden than a blessing. I should never make my father feel guilty for asking me to help him. And sadly I do many times.

I don’t think we realize what an effect we can have on our fathers. This effect can be a positive one, or a negative one. The choice is up to you. 

This time as a daughter in your father’s house is invaluable. If you desire to follow God’s  calling on your life as a woman, and perhaps one day a wife, your father’s house is the training ground for that role. God knew what He was doing when He placed us first in our father’s home and secondly in our future husband’s home. 

Even if we never marry, we still have a purpose and a role to play. Marriage is not the goal. Glorifying God and obeying His Word is. We must be careful that we do not serve our father’s only to better serve our future husbands. Yes, it will benefit our marriages if that is what the Lord has, but that should not be the sole purpose. We have to always check our heart’s motives and make sure we are serving for the right reasons. We should serve because it is what the Lord calls us to.

What are your thoughts?

I Am Woman. Hear me...meow?

When someone says the word “woman” what comes to your mind? Is it a tall, slender figure, dressed in a power suit, talking into a blinking bluetooth? Perhaps it’s a woman with a muscular physique out on the basket ball court, dominating the game. Or is it the frazzled mom-on-the-go, with a baby in one hand and a skinny vanilla latte in the other? Whatever it may be, the point is: we all have our own meaning to the word woman. 

What’s your point? You may be wondering.

My point is, what does God want our view to be? He created us, after all. And if anyone should know what it means to be a woman, He should! 

Let’s start at the beginning. The very beginning. 

God created the whole world, this amazing beautiful and complex world. And He made man out of the dust of the earth. Take a moment to let that sink in. Dirt. We’re talking dirt here! Okay, moments over. Back to what we were talking about...

The Lord made Adam to be a keeper of His garden.

“Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” (Genesis 2:15)

Adam had a mission and a job to do from the Lord. Adam also had to name all of the animals the Lord had created. This presented a problem. (and no, the problem is not where in the world Adam came up with the name rhinoceros! This does raise the question as to whether or not marijuana existed in Eden...)

“Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:19-20)

What is the dilemma here? Adam was not complete. He could not properly carry out his job from the Lord without a suitable helper.

This is where us girls come in! Woot woot! We were created for the role of helper.

For many women, this is insulting! They reason, “This is the 21st century. Women are no longer required to slave over a hot stove and have babies. Anything men can do, we can do better!”

As the Helen Reddy song goes, “I am woman, hear me roar!” We want to be strong, fierce and demand respect. Because, after all, who wants to be a doormat?

I understand these feelings, really I do. Hey, I’m a woman too. But let me say this, what we feel, is not always right. What God says is. God’s Word doesn’t change to fit the culture. And God doesn’t call us girls to be fierce lions that roar.

“Your adornment must not be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

He calls us to have a spirit of quietness and gentleness. It is precious in His sight. 

So instead of lions, we have to be little kittens? No. God is not calling us girls to be weak. Have you ever tried being quiet and gentle for more than 45 minutes? It’s hard!! For me it takes more strength to be quiet and gentle, than it is to be loud and abrasive. The latter comes natural to me, it is my sinful nature. The former is only achieved through the power of the Holy Spirit. When you are walking in your God-given role, your will experience joy, contentment and a fulfillment you have never experienced before.

After all, God usually knows what He’s doing. ;)