What Is A Suitable Helper?

In my previous post, we talked about God’s purpose for women. We are to be helpers.

“Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

But what does that look like practically? 

Especially as young, unmarried woman, this role can be confusing to carry out. We don’t have a husband...so who do we serve? 

Let’s see some examples from the Word:

Examples early on in the Bible, such as Rebekah, show a pattern. She was a daughter, living in her father’s home. She was a helper to him and his household. When Abraham’s servant was sent to find a wife for Isaac, he sat at the city well. 

"Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water;” (Genesis 24:13)

Why was he there? Because the daughters of the men of the city came to water their father’s camels. The point being, it was common knowledge that daughters helped with tasks in their father’s homes.

Another example comes from the book of Nehemiah. The people of Israel were rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. The task of rebuilding the wall was colossal, and the only effective way to accomplish the task was for each family to begin working on the section of the wall that was in front of their homes. This is where our verse comes in:

“Next to him Shallum the son of Hallohesh, the official of half the district of Jerusalem, made repairs, he and his daughters.” (Nehemiah 3:12)

Shallum and his daughters were rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem! I have always loved this verse, because it showed that the range of things us girls can do is not limited to knitting. :)

And my third and final example comes from the story of Esther. Esther was a Jewish woman who’s parents had died and she had been taken in by Mordecai. He was a father to her. And she was a daughter to him. And as such, they fulfilled their roles.

“Esther had not yet made known her kindred or her people, even as Mordecai had commanded her; for Esther did what Mordecai told her as she had done when under his care.” (Esther 2:20)

Esther was an obedient daughter, and trusted in the wisdom of Mordecai. And she did what he told her to do.

So what does all this talk of camels, walls and wells have to do with anything? Well, everything actually. Try not to get caught up on the details of these verses, and try to see the whole picture. The picture is this: daughters who are unmarried, are to be helpers to their fathers. 

How? 

Well, this depends on your father, and your family situation. But ask your dad. What does he need help with? What tasks weigh heavily on his mind, that you could easily help him out with. Whether it be helping him with lawn work, taking out the trash, or helping your Mom, offer to help him. And follow through. 

Attitude has a lot to do with it as well. I will be the first to admit that I have had a bad attitude many a time. Especially when my dad wants me to pick up sticks in the yard. I don’t know why, but I HATE that job. But it is in those moments that I have a choice: I can choose to serve my father with a loving and obedient attitude, or I can sigh and complain, which in turn causes me to be more of a burden than a blessing. I should never make my father feel guilty for asking me to help him. And sadly I do many times.

I don’t think we realize what an effect we can have on our fathers. This effect can be a positive one, or a negative one. The choice is up to you. 

This time as a daughter in your father’s house is invaluable. If you desire to follow God’s  calling on your life as a woman, and perhaps one day a wife, your father’s house is the training ground for that role. God knew what He was doing when He placed us first in our father’s home and secondly in our future husband’s home. 

Even if we never marry, we still have a purpose and a role to play. Marriage is not the goal. Glorifying God and obeying His Word is. We must be careful that we do not serve our father’s only to better serve our future husbands. Yes, it will benefit our marriages if that is what the Lord has, but that should not be the sole purpose. We have to always check our heart’s motives and make sure we are serving for the right reasons. We should serve because it is what the Lord calls us to.

What are your thoughts?

I Am Woman. Hear me...meow?

When someone says the word “woman” what comes to your mind? Is it a tall, slender figure, dressed in a power suit, talking into a blinking bluetooth? Perhaps it’s a woman with a muscular physique out on the basket ball court, dominating the game. Or is it the frazzled mom-on-the-go, with a baby in one hand and a skinny vanilla latte in the other? Whatever it may be, the point is: we all have our own meaning to the word woman. 

What’s your point? You may be wondering.

My point is, what does God want our view to be? He created us, after all. And if anyone should know what it means to be a woman, He should! 

Let’s start at the beginning. The very beginning. 

God created the whole world, this amazing beautiful and complex world. And He made man out of the dust of the earth. Take a moment to let that sink in. Dirt. We’re talking dirt here! Okay, moments over. Back to what we were talking about...

The Lord made Adam to be a keeper of His garden.

“Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” (Genesis 2:15)

Adam had a mission and a job to do from the Lord. Adam also had to name all of the animals the Lord had created. This presented a problem. (and no, the problem is not where in the world Adam came up with the name rhinoceros! This does raise the question as to whether or not marijuana existed in Eden...)

“Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:19-20)

What is the dilemma here? Adam was not complete. He could not properly carry out his job from the Lord without a suitable helper.

This is where us girls come in! Woot woot! We were created for the role of helper.

For many women, this is insulting! They reason, “This is the 21st century. Women are no longer required to slave over a hot stove and have babies. Anything men can do, we can do better!”

As the Helen Reddy song goes, “I am woman, hear me roar!” We want to be strong, fierce and demand respect. Because, after all, who wants to be a doormat?

I understand these feelings, really I do. Hey, I’m a woman too. But let me say this, what we feel, is not always right. What God says is. God’s Word doesn’t change to fit the culture. And God doesn’t call us girls to be fierce lions that roar.

“Your adornment must not be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

He calls us to have a spirit of quietness and gentleness. It is precious in His sight. 

So instead of lions, we have to be little kittens? No. God is not calling us girls to be weak. Have you ever tried being quiet and gentle for more than 45 minutes? It’s hard!! For me it takes more strength to be quiet and gentle, than it is to be loud and abrasive. The latter comes natural to me, it is my sinful nature. The former is only achieved through the power of the Holy Spirit. When you are walking in your God-given role, your will experience joy, contentment and a fulfillment you have never experienced before.

After all, God usually knows what He’s doing. ;)